the art of karaoke
I'm just gonna have to get into this stuff. Having returned from my third such outing in the past two weeks, it's clear that a good Korean social life absolutely requires a solid education in Righteous Brothers, Outkast and Britney Spears. Not that I wasn't friendly with these fine folk before - it's just that my American acquaintanceship ain't gonna cut it. I need words, I need actions, I need to know their motivation ... and there will be a test.
Karaoke. It's where the 8-year-old crooning to the hairbrush emerges from the classy businesswoman, where the inner rock star pumps out from the dignified middle-aged gent.
Karaoke. Where there are no observers and no poring over of songbooks ("This is not a library!") - so you better come prepared.
Karaoke. Home of the peanut-butter dried squid and other assorted snacks, bad beer and soju.
When in Korea, karaoke.
I'm still getting over the oddness of presenting this ridiculousness to an intimate roomful of friends 4 feet from you rather than a distant bar of people you'll never have to see again ... but I better get with the program: True karaokers are a fierce foe, armed with tambourines and microphones. You will sing, you will dance, you will cheer riotously for everyone and you will be scored. (Seriously, the program actually gives you a score based mostly on how loud you are, best as I can figure.)
Pitch is not a necessary element whatsoever. Rythym is negligible. But flair and good humor, those are absolute essentials. And a true socialite has a little of everything in the hopper and knows just what makes an Elton John moment versus a time for the Black Eyed Peas.
So who has suggestions for my repertoire?
7 comments:
No karaoke night could be complete without "Hurts So Good" by John Cougar!
Thanks for coming out with us.
When Jim and I were in southern China (near Hong Kong) we visited the Hair and Beauty School where they were importing our products.
They took us to a restaurant with big round tables laden with many delectable dishes, I know not what!
Afterwards there was Karaoke!!! So I have a pretty good idea what you are experiencing. Hope you had fun.
After living in Japan, home of karaoke, I can tell you the more sass the better. Down as much beer as you can swallow, stand up on the couches and shake your bootie! No sitting allowed!
You'll be karaoke queen if you can lead the group in a dance. Try instigating a conga (yes, in those little rooms. Or if you're brave take it all the way to the next room. They'll love you).
Mr. Big's "To Be With You" is always a hit.
You would have to do a better job than Andy's attempt at "I Feel Like a Woman" or Christian's stab at "Ring of Fire."
Made me want to howl like a despondent coyote.
I say learn air guitar or be able to mimic Britney. Short of that, you can always take up the tambourine as a way out of singing~
Three words- Funky Cold Medina!
Here are the lyrics (so you can practice infront of your mirror before your debut):
I'm thinking
Cold coolin' at a bar, and I'm lookin' for some action
But like Mick Jagar said, "I can't get no satisfaction"
The girls are all around, but none of them want to get with me
My threds are fresh and I'm looking def
Yo, what's up with L-O-C?
The girls I sawjokin' at the other end of the bar
Havin' drinks with some no-name chump
When they know that I'm the star
So I got up and strolled over to the other side of the cantina
I asked the guy, "Why you so fly?"
He said, "Funky Cold Medina"
Funky Cold Medina
This brother told me a secret on how to get more chicks
Put a little Medina in your glass
And the girls will come real quick
It's better than any alcohol or aphrodisiac
A couple of sips of this love potion and she'll be on your lap
So I gave some to my dog, when he began to beg
Then he licked his bowl and he looked at me
And did the Wild Thing on my leg
He used to scratch and bite me
Before he was much, much meaner
But now all the poodles run to my house
For the Funky cold Medina
You know what I'm sayin'? I got every dog in my neighborhood
Breakin' down my door, I got Spuds McKenzie, Alex from Stroh's
They won't leave my dog alone with that Medina, pal
I went up to this girl, she said, "Hi, my name is Sheena"
I thought she'd be good to go with a little Funky cold Medina
She said, "I'd like a drink, " I said OK, I'd go get it
Then a couple of sips, she sold licked her lips
And I knew that she was with it
So I took her to my crib, and everything went well as planned
But when she got undressed, it was a big old mess
Sheena was a man
So I threw him out, I don't fool around
With in Oscar Meyer weiner
You must be sure that your girl is pure
For the Funky Cold Medina
You know, ain't no playin' with a man
This is the 80's and I'm down with the ladies, ya know?
Break it down
Back in the saddle, lookin' for a little affection
I took a shot as a conteatant on the Love Connection
The audience voted and you lnow they picked a winner
I took my date to the Hilton for Medina and some dinner
She had a few drinks, I'm thinkin' soon what I'll be gettin'
Instead she started talkin' about plans for a weddin'
Said wait, slow down, love, not so fast, says "I'll be seein' ya"
That's why I found you don't play around
With the Funky Cold Medina
Ya know what I'm sayin', that Medina's a monster, y'all
Funky Cold Medina
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