adjectives of emancipation
Copy eds, this one's for you. Everyone else, you probably want to move on before you're totally geekified.
One of the best parts of moving out of the career of words was the freedom to take back my language and the authority to use it any old way I please - by whim or by reason. I can't claim that all my grammatical faux pas will be statements: I'm still quite prone to ignorance and typos. However, to keep some shred of my former desk dignity (quiet, you snickerers! ... and keep fighting the good fight, copyeds!), I am compelled to document that at least some of my deviations are intentional.
Just for y'all's information (yesseree bob, I sure did just use the possessive form of that), you will see the false plural used for gender-neutral singular pronouns. I may use those verboten words like "lure" and "mull," and I may say "like" when it by standard grammar should be "such as." Oh and by the way, I'm just gonna use "may" for "might" - quite frequently. Deal with it.
I'll split my infinitives, call this a "website" and use "dork" with complete abandon. And if "healthcare" is good enough for Webster's, who am I to argue? But then again, I'll use a whole smathering of words Webster's has never heard of.
I'll probably talk about "healthy" food, break off a lot of prefixes that AP has no qualm with, dangle prepositions and put my "only"s any old place I please. I'm going to also use "blonde" as an adjective on principle. On the other hand, I'll likely as not talk about "manmade" things ... in fact, I'm pretty sure I've already gone and done it (ditto on "healthy").
I will definitely use "failed to" on more than one occasion - probably "in order to," as well - and I'm quite the fan of a good quaint "ain't" every now and again. I see no reason why "headquartered" can't be a verb, and I stand firm that there's a good many uses for passive voice.
The list goes on, but I think I've solidified my ridiculousness quite enough for one post. :)
Feel free to add your own grammatical rebellions in the comments!
8 comments:
I'm not sure which I find most disturbing: the fact that you wrote this post, that I read it, (despite your warnings and my non-copy-editorness,) or that I didn't get most of the jokes because my grammar is just that sloppy.
self-consciously,
AMEN!
--Tracy
Bad grammar ain't poor!
Nice to be free, huh? I encourage your flagrant rule breaking, particularly your tendency to end sentences with prepositions. Just please, please no "where's it at?". That's like nails on a chalkboard.
oh, to be free of the chains of grammar. of course, I don't speak in proper grammar all the time, or I'd probably speak a lot slower. (that's right, not "more slowly"). but you should totally take advantage of all that in your blog writing!
Uh oh, what's the rule about "failed to"? Just when you thought you didn't have to care about it anymore, here I am.
For some reason, I missed this particular blog post before. ??? You're hilarious. just don't start talking like maury povich guests!
It's that old copy editing rule - never use two words if one will suffice ... i.e., "didn't" instead of "failed to." But I don't think the one always quite gets there, though there are times it will do.
It was one of those pet peeves of a former supervisor ... like most of these things. :)
Hilarious and true! Someday, I hope to get to the point that I don't copy edit the ads in the bathroom stalls in downtown bars.
To boldly split infinitives where no man...
I have heard plenty in my first week here in the deep south...but the most recent one I heard was, a little black girl (I think she was a girl) ran up to us in the park while we were walking Buddy and Aspen and said, "wutt kinda dawg that is?"
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