3 bucks to see the doc

So this week's big adventure was a trip to the hospital. Don't worry - in Korea's socialized medicine system, the hospital is just a one-stop shop for healthcare, not reserved for urgent or serious procedures.

Anyway, a whole troupe of us teachers went to the local general hospital to get prescriptions rewritten, vaccinations and take care of other minor issues - thankfully herded along by our ebullient fashion-plate of a Korean facilitator. It was like a little family, shuttling everyone to respective locations and waiting around for translation help, and let's just say we all know way more about each other than I'm used to with co-workers. But that's OK - just see "Step 4" below.

We were quite the sight, as usual, scurrying along corridors and lounging about in waiting rooms. And being as sick people - and people waiting for sick people - have very little to do but gawk at such spectacles, it was definitely their day's entertainment, compliments of America.

There was a particularly hilarious scene in which an elevator wouldn't move loaded as it was with giant Westerners, and there was some ferocious Korean going on about who was going to get off ... with our shepherd (definitely skeptical of his charges' ability to cope if left behind) surely waging what amounted to a cultural war by asking seniors in age and rank to exit. Apparently the responses included "I'm a doctor with a patient!" and "I'm old!" Unable to argue with that, he herded us off the elevator and we waited another five minutes for the next and squeezed on before any Koreans had a chance. Ding ... one floor. One floor. Maybe Koreans don't believe in stairs in hospitals, being full of sick people and all.

Oh, and in another elevator trip, I discovered that if the people behind you don't think you're moving quite fast enough, they aren't shy about giving you a two-handed push on the back to propel you out the door. Or maybe that's just reserved for incommunicado foreigners ... I don't know.

So compare this with the States:

Step 1: Walk in the lobby and take a number. It's filled with row seats and quite resembles a bus station.
Step 2: When your number comes up (fairly quickly), pay a one-time registration fee of about $8 bucks - or $12 to see a highly experienced specialist.
Step 3: Go to the appropriate department, check in and wait to see the doctor (times seemed to vary drastically - some people were out in minutes, others languished for hours).
Step 4: See the doctor (most speak some English, but usually only select medical phrases, so it's a heck of a lot better to have a translator with you just in case). Oh, and it's highly possible you'll have to share a session with other members of your party, or that the next patient will come in halfway through your consult and patiently wait in the seat next to you ... the concept of HIPPA hasn't quite reached Korea, to say the least.
Step 5: Take your paperwork down to the lobby again and repeat the number process to check out. You'll probably pay $3 to $20 for the visit.
Step 6: Take your prescription to any pharmacy. Most medications cost $3 to $6 per box/bottle, but specific Western imports can be much higher.

Oh and that registration fee is only for large hospitals - go to a small hospital and you'll probably only pay $3 total to see the doctor.